Retreat, Reset or Renewal? What Are We Really Retreating From?
The new “in” thing seems to be going on a retreat to reset ourselves so that we can better handle the stresses of life. But, in my very humble and personal opinion, I wonder whether the word retreat carries the right energy for what we are actually trying to achieve.
The word retreat suggests withdrawing, stepping back, or moving away from something difficult. And while I understand that a retreat does give us an opportunity to step away from our everyday responsibilities and challenges for a little while, I believe that this is only part of what a retreat should offer.
We shouldn’t go on a retreat simply to hide from the things we cannot—or no longer want to—deal with. Instead, we should use that time away to learn skills that help us return to our lives feeling more capable, centred and prepared to meet whatever comes our way.
Because the truth is, life will continue to be complicated, messy and challenging at times.
There will always be unexpected situations, difficult conversations, demanding responsibilities and days when everything feels as though it is threatening to crush us under its weight. A retreat cannot—and should not—make those things disappear.
What it can do is teach us how to respond to them differently.
A retreat may introduce us to meditation, journalling, yoga, breathwork or mindfulness. It may give us the opportunity to talk things through with others, spend time in nature, disconnect from our phones, hike, create, dance, laugh or simply be still.
But these activities are not meant to end when the retreat ends. That, for me, is the real purpose of a retreat.
Call it a retreat, a reset, a renewal or simply taking time for yourself. Whatever we choose to call it, what matters most is what we take home with us.
Can we integrate some of what we learned into our everyday lives?
Can the peace we experienced for a day or a weekend become something we cultivate regularly, rather than something we remember fondly once we return to our normal routines?
Perhaps you can take 30 minutes in the morning to journal, meditate or simply sit quietly before the day begins. At lunchtime, take a short walk. Use the stairs instead of the elevator. Step outside and take a few conscious breaths. When you pick up your children from school, perhaps create a little mindfulness game. Spend the first five minutes together in silence. Or see who can identify five different sounds around you.
These may seem like very small things—and they are. But small things, repeated consistently, can become habits. And healthy habits can gradually change the way we experience our lives.
So perhaps the real retreat isn't the day or weekend when we step away.
Perhaps the real retreat is the opportunity to step back, reconnect with ourselves, learn something new and then step forward again—with greater awareness, resilience and intention.
The goal isn't to escape life.
The goal is to return to it differently.
Take the peace with you.
Take the tools with you.
Take the practice with you.
And let the retreat continue long after you have left the retreat.
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